People Don't Leave Organizations. They Leave Bad Leaders.

In November 2022, I sat down with my best salesperson for their yearly review. It was a great conversation. I told them that starting in January, they would be getting a raise, and I showed them the paperwork with their new pay on it.

Over the next few months, I thought everything was going well. We talked all the time. I leaned on this person as a confidant, and they were the one I was planning to build my team around.

Then in May 2023, they turned in their two weeks’ notice.

When I finally found out why, I was in disbelief. They never got the raise. I had filled out the paperwork and shown it to them, but I never actually submitted it. For five months, they had been looking at their paycheck and seeing the same number while I walked around thinking we were in a great place.

I offered to make it right, including back pay for every month I missed. It did not matter. The way they saw it, I had not kept my word, and nothing I offered could change that. The damage was done.

When I tell that story, people usually say that person left over money. I don’t see it that way. They left because I broke a promise, and the paycheck was just how they found out.

Key Takeaways

• Most people who quit are leaving something their leader controls: how they are treated, whether they can grow, and whether promises are kept.

• Gallup found that about half of U.S. adults have left a job at some point to get away from their manager.

• Even when people say they left for pay, the leader is often the real reason. Leaders decide whether someone feels respected, sees a future, and gets what they were promised.

• A broken promise costs more than the promise itself. I lost my best salesperson over a raise I had already approved.

• Good intentions are not enough. You need a system that makes sure what you promise actually happens.

Why do employees really quit?

When Pew Research Center asked workers who quit their jobs in 2021 why they left, the top three answers were low pay (63%), no opportunities for advancement (63%), and feeling disrespected at work (57%).

At first glance, that looks like a list of company problems. Look a little closer and you will see a leader behind every one of them. Whether someone feels respected comes down to how their leader treats them day to day. Whether they see a path to grow depends on whether their leader is developing them or just using them. And pay, which feels like a company decision, often depends on whether a leader goes to bat for their people and follows through.

My salesperson would have checked the “pay” box on an exit survey. The real reason was me.

Do people really leave because of their manager?

A lot of them do. Gallup found that one in two U.S. adults has left a job to get away from their manager at some point in their career. Gallup also found that managers account for at least 70% of the difference in engagement from one team to the next.

John Maxwell says everything rises and falls on leadership. Your team’s experience at work is shaped by you more than by the logo on the building, the benefits package, or the break room.

I want to be fair here, because I don’t think the answer is always the leader. Sometimes the pay really is below market, or the person’s life changes and they need to move. But when a good employee leaves a good organization, the leader is the first place I would look.

Can a good leader still lose their best people?

Yes, and that is the part most leaders miss.

When people picture a bad leader, they picture someone who yells, plays favorites, or takes credit for everyone else’s work. I was not that leader. I cared about that salesperson, and I believed I was doing right by them. I just did not follow through.

You can be a good person and still be a bad leader to someone if they cannot count on your word. Your team does not judge you by what you meant to do. They judge you by what actually happened. I wrote about this in my post on leadership habits, and it is one of the habits I care about most: keep your word on the small things, because people watch those to decide whether to trust you with the big ones.

How do you keep your best employees from leaving?

Here is what I do now, and what I coach leaders to do.

1. Treat every promise like it is in writing. If you say it in a review, write it down with a date. Then follow up until it is done, not until you think it is done.

2. Build a system so trust does not depend on your memory. After I lost that salesperson, I made sure every raise I promised was actually submitted, and I checked it myself. My good intentions were not the problem. My lack of a process was. This is a big reason I help organizations build clear standard operating procedures.

3. Fight for your people. Do not hide behind “that is corporate’s call.” If someone has earned a raise or a promotion, make the case for them and let them know you did.

4. Show respect in the small moments. Listen when they talk. Recognize good work out loud. Ask for their input before you make decisions that affect them.

5. Ask before they leave. Do not wait for an exit interview to find out what went wrong. Ask your people two questions on a regular basis: “What would make you want to stay here another year?” and “Is there anything I told you I would do that I have not done yet?” That second question would have saved me my best salesperson.

What should you do when a good employee is about to leave?

Be honest with yourself about how late it is. By the time I got that two weeks’ notice, the decision was already made. The back pay, the apology, and the conversations came too late, because trust had been leaking out for five months before I noticed.

If you sense someone pulling away, have the conversation now. Ask what is going on, listen without getting defensive, and own anything that is yours to own. If you made a mistake, say so plainly and fix it fast. People can forgive a mistake. What they have a hard time forgiving is finding out on their own.

Where do I start if I want to keep my best people?

Start with the promises you have already made. Make a list of everything you have told your team you would do, from raises to schedule changes to that follow-up you said you would look into. Then check whether each one actually happened.

If you want help building the systems and habits that keep good people on your team, I would be glad to talk it through with you. You can reach me through my contact page whenever you are ready. No pressure, just a conversation about your team and where you want to take it.

Truly Caring for YOUR Success,

Coach Clark